


Courage and Euphoria

by A Sirius Crush On Moony (Obsession137)



Series: Forsaken Desires [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Smut, Incest, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 20:46:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4073338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsession137/pseuds/A%20Sirius%20Crush%20On%20Moony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regulus is searching for happiness, and he finds himself falling in love with Sirius. Sister-fic to Forsaken Desires and Passage of Hesitance (can be read seperately though).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sister-fic to Forsaken Desires/Passage of Hesitance. This is the story from Regulus's point of view. It can be read seperate to the other two :)

Regulus Black stands at the top of the mahogany staircase in Grimmauld Place.  He holds onto the banister with sweaty hands and strains to hear the whispered but loud conversation that’s going on downstairs.  He can barely make out any of the conversation but he catches a few words here and there.  The words he hears most often are ‘blood-traitor’, ‘disowned’ and ‘Sirius’.  This scares Regulus more than he cares to admit. 

Despite everything, he loves Sirius.  He’s Regulus’s older brother, after all.  Sirius has always been there for him.  Regulus just wishes Sirius would try a little harder to not be... well, _Sirius._ Because it was very clear that their parents didn’t like Sirius.  Maybe not even a little bit.

Regulus nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears the thunderous banging of a door and his mother yelling, “ _DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME ORION! SIRIUS BLACK IS AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE FAMILY.  WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM AND IF THAT MEANS DISOWNING HIM THEN THAT IS HOW IT WILL BE!”._

He sighs and loosens his grip on the banister.  He doesn’t want to lose Sirius.  Living in the Black family is two things – lonely, and miserable.   Even though he hates to admit it, Regulus sometimes envies Muggle families.  He sees them sometimes out his bedroom window.  A mother and father holding hands with their children and smiling at them, and laughing with them. 

That kind of thing never happens in the Black family.  It’s all blood purity and boring family history lessons.  It’s not that Regulus doesn’t agree with what his parents teach him, it’s just that they spend too much time dwelling on their values and forget that this is a family and it should be a happy family. 

Losing Sirius would break Regulus.  He cares about him too much.

Regulus turns away from the staircase and heads down the corridor.  He is about to go into his bedroom, but he decides not to.  He sees the door opposite his, with the name ‘Sirius Orion Black’ engraved on the front.  For no apparent reason, he decides to go and speak to his brother about what he’s just heard.

He notices that the door is slightly ajar, and he slowly pushed it open a little more and peers into Sirius’s room.  “Sirius,” he says softly, staring at his brother who is lying lazily on his bed.  “I’m scared,” Regulus admits, stepping into the room.

He hears Sirius sigh and then sees a smile appear on his face.  “What’s up?” he asks, gesturing for Regulus to sit on the bed next to him.

Regulus is embarrassed that tears have begun to form in his eyes, but if there is anyone he can cry in front of, it’s Sirius.  He sits down on the edge of Sirius’s bed and stares at him.

“I just-“ Regulus starts, taking a breath, trying to think of what to say next.  All that he manages to say is, “why, Sirius?”

Sirius looks a little confused.  “Why what?”

“Why do you have to make things so hard for yourself?” Regulus replies.  He wants to add that Sirius is also making things hard for him, but decides not to mention it.

Sirius pulls his wand out, and starts twirling it around in his hands.  “I don’t,” he says off-handedly.  “I just be myself, and if Mum and Dad don’t like that, then tough.”

Regulus hates how much Sirius doesn’t seem to care.  “Sirius,” he says.  “I’m scared they’ll kick you out.”

“So what?” Sirius says.  “I’d rather _not_ be here.”

This stings Regulus.  Didn’t Sirius care about him even a little bit?  Trying not to let it show, he clears his throat.  “Where would you go?” he asks.

Sirius seemingly notices Regulus’s tears and sits up abruptly.  “Don’t cry!” he says, looking concerned.  “I’d go to James’s house.  He always said I’d be welcome if I was kicked out.”

Regulus bites his tongue.  He loathes James Potter.  He knows that Sirius thinks of James as a better brother than Regulus.  Only because he’s in Gryffindor.

“But what about me?” Regulus finally says.  “You can’t leave me here,” he chokes.  “With them, by myself.”

“But they _like_ you!” Sirius almost yells, making Regulus jump.  “They _hate_ me, so I hate them.  Why do you hate them if they’re nice to you?”

 _I don’t hate them_ , Regulus thinks.  He sighs.  “Because of how they treat you,” he admits.  “I wish we were how we used to be before Hogwarts.  Mum and Dad loved us both and we were like a proper family.”

“Yeah, but that’s before I showed them that I was different to the rest of our family,” Sirius says, more seriously now.  “I don’t _want_ to be like Mum and Dad and the rest of the family.  I _hate_ everything about what they believe in, no offence.  I just-“ Sirius looks close to tears.  “I _do_ want to be kicked out because I can’t stand living here.”

Regulus doesn’t care anymore.  He just says what he’s been thinking.  “But, I’ll miss you,” he says sadly, looking down at his hands.

“Well think about it,” Sirius says.  Regulus looks at him again, and Sirius looks more sympathetic now.  “We go back to school tomorrow and I’ve not done anything bad enough for them to kick me out tonight, so I should be here by Christmas at least.”

“What if they kick you out at Christmas?”  Who am I supposed to talk to while I’m here?  Sirius,” Regulus pauses, unsure of whether to carry on.  He decides he may as well.  “I heard them talking about you downstairs.”

Sirius’s ears seem to perk up at this.  “Oh yeah?” he says eagerly.  “What were they saying?”

“They were saying they need to do something about you and they said you’re an embarrassment to the family,” Regulus says, wincing at the memory of the door banging and his mothers shrill yell.

“Well, I already knew they felt that way,” Sirius says, looking nonchalant.

“But they were also talking about disowning you and they were being pretty serious about it.  I just don’t want you to go.”  Regulus hopes that this will knock some sense into his brother.  Sirius just smiles warmly at him.

“Reg, don’t worry about me,” he says, pulling Regulus into a hug.  Regulus sighs and hugs Sirius back.

“But I’ll be so lonely,” he whispers close to Sirius’s ear, tears forming again in his eyes.  He’s glad Sirius can’t see them.

Sirius pulls out of the hug and smirks.  Regulus quickly wipes his eyes.  “Hey,” Sirius says.  “I can always find a way to sneak back if you want.  And in the meantime, you’ve got Kreacher to keep you company.”

Regulus laughs despite his sadness.  “Honestly?  Kreacher?  Anybody is better company than _Kreacher._ ”  Regulus likes the house elf, but Kreacher is very morbid.  Any conversation ends with Kreacher retelling the tale of somebody dying.

“Well, he likes you at least,” Sirius points out.  “Knowing him, if he got stuck with _me_ as company, he’d find some way to kill me.”

Regulus laughs again and sighs.  “When we get back to school it’ll be time to ignore you again.”

“Only because your friends would treat you like crap if you were nice to me,” Sirius says bitterly.

“I know,” Regulus whispers.  They sit for a minute in silence and Regulus thinks back to a conversation he overheard a couple of days ago.  He almost shudders.  “Sirius?” he says.

“What?” his brother replies.

“I’m scared for another reason, too.”

“What’s up?” Sirius asks.  “Why’re you scared?”

Regulus closes his eyes.  “I heard Dad talking about Lord Voldemort.”

Sirius looks curious.  “What about Lord Voldemort?”

Regulus tries his hardest not to shudder again, but his lip trembles a little.  Sirius notices this and pulls Regulus into another hug.  Regulus finds it’s easier to say things to Sirius when he can’t see his face.

“I think that Dad wants me to join Lord Voldemort,” he says in barely a whisper.

Sirius jerks away and stares Regulus in the eyes.  His eyes have widened and he looks alarmed.  “You won’t join, will you?” he asks.

“I don’t _want_ to!” Regulus says quickly.  “But if Dad wants me to join, then what choice do I have?”

Regulus feels Sirius’s hand on his back.  “Oh Reg,” he says.  “I’m so sorry.”

Regulus sighs.  “There’s nothing you can do about it.  Nothing even _I_ can do about it.  Why couldn’t I have been a Gryffindor like you?”

Sirius smiles a little. “Wow, Reg.  I never thought I’d hear those words coming out of your mouth.”

Neither did I,” Regulus admits.  “I just-“ he tries to think of a way to put this.  “In Gryffindor, you seem to have a lot more fun.  You seem more free and happy and safe.”

“It’s true,” Sirius says.  “I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be in Slytherin when you have Lord Voldemort trying to recruit from that House.”

“Yeah,” Regulus shudders once more.  “As I said, I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be,” Sirius says, looking confident.  “I know for a fact that if Lord Voldemort tries to recruit you, you’re brave enough to reject the offer.  You’re stronger than him.  Just believe in yourself.”

Regulus smiles.  This is the first time anybody has ever called him brave.  Actually, it’s the nicest thing anybody has ever said to him.  “Thanks Sirius,” he says softly, staring into his brother’s grey eyes.

Sirius is staring right back at him.  For some reason Regulus can’t look away.  His eyes are locked on Sirus’s and he feels the need to...

 _No_ , Regulus thinks.  _That’s disgusting_.

But he _does_ feel the need to kiss Sirius, and Sirius doesn’t look repulsed as their faces draw closer and closer...

Regulus closes his eyes and decides that it’s up to Sirius to make the move.  He doesn’t have a clue what is happening, but he can’t seem to stop himself. 

Before he can think any more on the weird thoughts in his head, he feels Sirius’s lips brush against his own, and like a magnet, Regulus’s arm wraps around Sirius’s waist, pulling him closer.  He feels Sirius’s hands tangle in his hair. 

 _Damn, this feels good_ , Regulus thinks as he pushes his tongue into Sirius’s mouth.  He heard a soft moan come from Sirius’s mouth as Sirius deepened the kiss.  Regulus could feel shivers running up and down his body.  It was like nothing he had ever felt before.  Like some sort of current running through his own body and into Sirius’s and every touch of the other boy’s skin feels like Regulus’s heart will jump out of his chest.

And suddenly it is over.  Regulus can feel himself going redder and redder, and he can see the same redness mirrored on Sirius’s face. 

 _Oh Merlin¸_ Regulus thinks. _What have I done?_

The shock of what has just happened finally registers in Regulus’s mind.  He stares wide-eyed at Sirius and gulps.

“Fuck,” he says, jumping up and rushing out of the room.  He doesn’t even bother shutting the door behind him as he runs straight into his own bedroom and drops down on his bed.

He stares up at the ceiling and puts a hand over his mouth.  He can still feel where Sirius had been kissing him.  He rubs his eyes frantically.

 _No_ , he thinks.  _It’s not some horrible dream.  It actually happened._

He smiles despite his panic.  _It actually happened,_ he thinks again and his heart flutters.  He knows it is completely wrong and will probably never happen again, and perhaps he will never get to speak to Sirius again, but he knows one thing.

At least for one moment in his life, he felt happiness.

He just hopes it can last.


	2. The Morning After

The next morning Regulus awakes from a dream of Sirius. He lets out a breath and sits up rubbing his eyes. What's happening to him? First he kissed Sirius, and now he's dreaming of kissing him. The thought of going downstairs and sitting in the kitchen for breakfast with Sirius makes Regulus's stomach churn in a horrible way. There is no way Regulus can just speak to Sirius normally now. Not after that kiss. _That amazing kiss_.

Regulus shakes his head and stands up. He stares at himself in the mirror by his bed. He sees ruffled black hair sticking up all over the place from how he slept. He sees grey eyes almost identical to Sirius's staring back at him in the mirror. He sees a guilty look in his own face.

Gulping, he turns his back in himself. He needs to act normal, as though nothing had happened. He quickly changes out of his pyjamas and into his clothes, and packs his pyjamas into his trunk for Hogwarts. That is the last of his packing done. Now he really has no excuse to sit upstairs in his room any longer, when he could be downstairs for breakfast.

He grabs his trunk by the handle and pulls it towards his door. He stands next to his door for a second, staring at the wood. All he can hear is his heart pounding. He hates how annoyingly frightened he is to face Sirius.

Taking a deep breath, he wrenches the door open and pulls his trunk down the corridor and past Sirius's door. Unfortunately for him, Sirius's door opens just as Regulus walks past. The two boys stare at each other for less than a second and they both blush furiously before Sirius slams the door shut again and Regulus carries on down the hallway.

"Kreacher," Regulus says. Two seconds later, Kreacher has apparated to the top of the stairs where Regulus is standing.

"How may Kreacher help Master Regulus today?"

"Could you please take my trunk to the fireplace?" Regulus asks, and with a nod, Kreacher has disappeared with Regulus's trunk.

Regulus heads downstairs, where he is greeted with his mother's angry face. He gulps and tries to avoid her, but she's advancing towards him. He wonders what he's done.

"Do you not _want_ to go to school?" she demands, with her hands on her hips.

"Yes," Regulus says quietly.

"What time do you call this?"

"Morning time," he says. His mother looks furious.

"That isn't funny," she says. "You know you should be downstairs at 6 o'clock."

"I'm sorry," Regulus mumbles, edging past her. He hears her sigh and knows that she won't hassle him any further on the matter. He sits down at the dining table and one of the family house elves appears with a plate of toast and a cup of pumpkin juice.

He chews absent-mindedly on his toast, staring at the wall in front of him. He doesn't really want to go back to Hogwarts. He doesn't enjoy it as much as he used to. His friends have changed. They used to be much more fun and well, friendly. Now they were like his parents. He supposes that is what growing up is – becoming more like your parents.

" _SIRIUS BLACK, GET YOURSELF DOWNSTAIRS THIS INSTANT!"_

Regulus jumps and almost spills his pumpkin juice all over himself. He hates when his mother yells suddenly like that. He watches as she storms back into the kitchen with a face red as a tomato. He avoids eye contact and continues eating his breakfast. Before he can eat his second piece of toast, it is wrenched out of his hand and thrown onto another plate by his mother. She slams the plate down on the table.

"You can thank your brother for that," she says with gritted teeth. "For being so late."

Regulus keeps quiet and sits staring at the table. He is often afraid to speak to his mother when she is like this.

He hears bangs coming from the stairs and then Sirius's trunk lands on the floor at the bottom and unlatches, spilling his things all over the floor.

Hurried footsteps follow the trunk and Sirius is throwing all of his things back inside.

Regulus can see a pair of boxer shorts lying in the corner and clears his throat.

"Your underwear is in the corner," he says, not looking at Sirius, and flushing.

"Thanks," he hears Sirius mumble.

"FOOLISH BOY!"

Regulus looks at his mother who is now staring at Sirius.

"HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR YOUR THINGS?"

"I have no respect for you." Sirius says.

Regulus closes his eyes and sighs. He knows what is coming. Why can't Sirius keep his mouth shut?

"What did you just say, Sirius Black?"

"I said," Sirius says, walking up to her and staring her right in the eye. "I have no respect for you, you bitch."

Regulus spurs out his pumpkin juice and he can't stop himself watching the exchange between his mother and brother.

The two stare at each other in utter silence for about two whole minutes.

"You... dare... speak to your own mother in that way? Be careful Sirius, very careful. I will be taking you to school now but if I hear one thing about your foolish behavior, I will make you sorry I ever gave birth to you like I've been sorry since the day you were sorted into that filthy House filled with blood traitors like yourself and mudbloods. Do you understand me?"

Sirius rolls his eyes carelessly and nods.

"Get up, Regulus. We're leaving."

Regulus does as he's told without hesitation. The three of them head towards the fireplace in silence.

Sirius goes first. He grabs a handful of floo powder and says, "Platform 9 3/4". Suddenly he is gone.

Regulus goes next. He grabs his trunk and takes a handful of floo powder, saying, "Platform 9 3/4" and is engulfed by the green flames.

When he opens his eyes, he's standing on the platform where the Hogwarts Express departs from. He sees hundreds of Hogwarts students hugging their parents and chattering away amongst themselves.

He notices Sirius smiling at him and smiles back. Then Sirius is running off towards the train and Regulus is all alone. A second later, his mother is standing next to him and clearing her throat.

"Thank you for not being a failure like Sirius," she says fondly, with a slight smile. Regulus can't bring himself to smile. Instead he just nods and walks off towards the train, trailing his trunk behind him.

 

* * *

Regulus is sitting next to his friends on the train. They are already halfway to Hogwarts and all they have said to one another is "hello". They aren't a very talkative bunch. Regulus doesn't mind because he's not a very talkative person. Sometimes it gets a little lonely, though.

He longs for Sirius. He longs for his kiss, and his touch, and the feeling of Sirius's warm breath against his bare skin...

He shakes his head and tries to put those thoughts out of his head. He decides that he will not speak to Sirius about what happened. He will act as though everything is normal.

He only hopes that his heart will let him stick with this decision.


	3. Cold Corridors

It’s dinner time and the Great Hall is full of students as always on the first day of term.  The excited First Years are all sitting chattering away to their new house mates and the older students are catching up with each other.  Everybody is digging in to the hundreds of plates of food that are all over the house tables.  The First Years are exclaiming how exciting Hogwarts is.

Regulus sits in between Scabior and Barty, eating his dinner in silence.  He can’t seem to get Sirius out of his head, and he hates himself for it.  He also hates the fact that his first ever kiss was with his brother.  _What a saddo_ , he thinks to himself and rolls his eyes.

“Here’s to another _lame_ year at Hogwarts,” Scabior says, looking bored.  He raises his glass towards his friends.  Regulus and Barty raise their own glasses and smile.

“We could try to make it less lame, you know,” Barty says.

“And how do we do that?”

Regulus raises his eyebrows.  “Oh, I don’t know,” he says sarcastically.  “We could always try to have a bit of fun instead of studying all of the time.”

“Yeah, he’s right,” Barty says.  “Anyone would think we’re Ravenclaws.”

“Even _they_ have more fun than we do,” Regulus comments, glancing over at the Ravenclaw table.

“Okay, okay,” Scabior says.  “I get it.  We’re a little boring.  We’ll try to be more fun this year.  Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Regulus and Barty say in unison and the three of them raise their glasses once more and clink them together.

“Good evening!” Dumbledore calls from the front of the Great Hall.  The chattering dies down to almost silence as everybody turns to listen to the headmaster’s start-of-term speech.

“Welcome to another year at Hogwarts.  To those new students, welcome!  We hope you enjoy your time here.”

Regulus stops listening.  He knows it will be the same old things as every year.  He just continues eating his dinner and thinking about Sirius.  _No, stop it,_ he tells himself with annoyance.  He wonders if this makes him gay.  Surely it must.  Or maybe it just makes him sick.   Sick _and_ gay.

Sighing, he turns to look at Sirius and notices his brother staring right back at him.   Regulus hastily looks away and feels his cheeks heat up.  Had Sirius been staring at him?  He grins at the thought.  Barty gives him a look as if to say ‘what the hell are _you_ grinning about?’ and Regulus just shrugs.   He has a lot to grin about, but he’s not ready to admit that to his friends.  He doubts he’ll ever be ready to admit that to anyone.  He’s having trouble admitting to it himself.

* * *

An hour or so later, and Regulus is sitting in the Slytherin common room on the sofa.  The heat from the fireplace and the people surrounding him is making him feel frustrated and he’s not sure why.  All he knows is that he wants to be alone to think.  _Although_ , he says to himself, _thinking may be dangerous_.

He stands up and heads towards the common room door.  Barty calls his name and Regulus turns back to face him.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“I just want to think,” Regulus replies, and there are no further questions asked.  One of things Regulus likes about his friends is that they don’t ask a lot of questions.  They accept things for what they are.  Regulus smiles at Barty and then heads out of the room. 

The cold of the corridor washes over him and he shivers.  It amazes him the contrast of temperature.  Just by adding a small fire and a couple dozen people, a place can feel so much warmer.  He walks with no destination in mind until he reaches a corner that he decides looks good enough for him to sit down.

Leaning against the cold stone wall, Regulus slides down until he’s sitting on the floor.  He brings his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around himself.  He’s shivering, but the silence makes it a lot easier to think.

 _Why do you even_ want _to think_ , he asks himself, and he knows that he has no good answer to his question.

Sirius’s name just keeps echoing inside his head and it’s driving him crazy with some sort of emotion that he can’t quite put his finger on.

He sighs and puts his head in his hands.  _What the hell have I done?  I’m never going to be able to fix this stupid mess I’ve created.  Why did I bloody have to kiss him?  And why did it have to feel so damned good?  The way his lips pressed against mine, and the feeling of his skin-_

Someone clears their throat and Regulus is torn away from his thoughts.  He glances up and sees Sirius standing in the corridor looking at him.  Regulus blushes and stares at his hands, which are much less handsome than Sirius, but are easier to look at for the time being.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks.  Regulus stares up at him.  He tries to act normal.

“Umm,” he says.  “Sitting... on the floor.  What does it look like I’m doing?”

“No,” Sirius says quickly.  “I mean _why_ are you sitting on the floor?  Did you get kicked out or something?”

Regulus blushes because the reason he’s sitting out in the corridor is because he’s thinking about the kiss.   “I just needed to think,” he says carefully.  The common room was too loud.”

“But you’re freezing out here!” Sirius practically shouts.  “I can see you shivering from here.”

 _Come over here and warm me up then,_ Regulus thinks, staring into Sirius’s grey eyes.  He snaps out of it when he realises he hasn’t replied.  “Look Sirius,” he says.   “I just needed to think.  Alone.  That means _alone_ , okay?”  He raises his eyebrows at Sirius.  “Without you here.”

Sirius looks torn.  “I... sorry.  I didn’t mean to intrude.  I was just walking and then I saw you there.”

Regulus raises his eyebrow once more.  “Since when do _you_ take walks in the dungeons?”

He sees Sirius’s cheeks redden a little as he bites his lip.  “Fine,” he says.  “I actually came down here to hand in my Potions work.”

Regulus tries not to laugh at Sirius’s lame excuse.  “On the first night back?” he asks, smirking slightly.  “We haven’t even _had_ Potions yet.”

“Fine!”  Sirius looks uncomfortable.  “I... well... I kind of... uhh...  wanted to speak to you.”

 _Oh, here it comes_ , Regulus thinks.  _Let’s pretend I have no idea what he’s talking about._

“Oh,” Regulus says.  “Umm, what did you want to speak about?  You know we don’t talk at school – you’re in Gryffindor and I’m in Slytherin.”

“Reg,” Sirius says softly.  “You _know_ what I want to speak about.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Regulus says quickly, his heart hammering in his chest.  He’s never been in a situation so awkward before and it’s a horrible feeling.

“ _YOU_ started it!” Sirius yells, pacing backwards and forwards.  “If you hadn’t... you... I... argh!”

_I guess I can’t avoid the topic now._

“You brought your face so bloody close,” Sirius continues.  “You did it!”

“Sirius,” Regulus says awkwardly.  “I... I’m sorry.”

“I just,” Sirius says, looking at Regulus now.  “Er, _why_ Reg?  Why did you do it?”

_I knew this was coming.  What shall I say, dammit._

“I don’t know,” he says truthfully, feeling himself blush once more.  “I didn’t even know what I was doing.  I know it sounds crazy, but I felt like I didn’t have a choice.  I couldn’t help it.”

 _Lame_ , he thinks.

Sirius walks closer to him and speaks in a quieter voice.  “Did you-“ he sighs.  “Did you enjoy it?”

Regulus doesn’t know whether he should answer that truthfully.  “I, er... umm-“

“-Because I enjoyed it,” Sirius cuts in, looking down in shame.

“You did?” Regulus practically shouts.

“ _Shhhh!_ ”

“Oh,” Regulus blushes.  “Sorry.”

“Yes, I enjoyed it,” Sirius admits.  “I, uh, couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

Regulus stops himself from grinning like a madman.  “Neither could I,” he says quietly.  Sirius drops down onto the floor next to him and he feels their hands brush together for a second and his breath hitches in his throat. _He feels so good..._

“Reg! You’re so cold!” Sirius exclaims, looking at him wide-eyed.  Regulus notices that Sirius is about to hug him and then stops himself.  Without thinking of the consequences, Regulus lets his head rest on Sirius’s shoulder and he feels Sirius’s arm wrap around him.  He feels content. 

Sirius picks up a very thin silvery sort of cloak from next to him and puts it over the two of them.  Regulus laughs.  “Why?  It’s not like it’ll warm us up.” 

Sirius smiles.  “It’s an invisibility cloak, you moron.  Just so nobody sees us.”

“I don’t understand,” Regulus says.  “Are we doing anything that shouldn’t be seen?”

Sirius smirks and Regulus feels a fluttering in his stomach.  “Not yet,” Sirius says, making Regulus blush.

“Sirius,” Regulus says quietly. His entire body is telling him not to protest, apart from a very small part of his brain.  “I don’t think-“

Before Regulus can continue his sentence, Sirius is kissing him again and it feels amazing.  Regulus’s hands move to tug at Sirius’s clothes desperate to touch his bare skin.  The kiss is rough and loud and both boys are panting.  Regulus doesn’t even realise that he has got a boner until he feels Sirius’s press against his own.  He lets out an unintentional moan as he feels Sirius’s erection. 

Sirius is planting kisses down the side of Regulus’s neck, licking and nipping and sucking at the skin.  Regulus can’t help but moan at the feel of Sirius’s lips on his neck.  He grabs Sirius and pushes him down hard on the floor, climbing on top of him and thrusting his groin into Sirius’s.  His actions are driven by a lust he’s never felt in his life before, but it feels so good.

“F-fuck!” Sirius pants.  “Mmm, Reg.”  Sirius reaches down to unzip his trousers, but Regulus pins Sirius’s hand above his head and smirks.  He leans forwards and kisses his brother.

“Let me,” he whispers.  He moves down slowly, moving his face towards the zip of Sirius’s trousers, all the while staring up into his eyes.  Just as he’s about to grab the zip between his teeth, Sirius pulls Regulus back up.

“Wait,” he says.  “I think someone’s coming.”

The two boys sit up again and cover their mouths to hide the fact that they’re both breathing loudly still.  Regulus can hear footsteps now and can see three shadows on the wall opposite them.  He hears voices and suddenly the three people are in front of him.

James Potter, Lily Evans and Remus Lupin are walking down the corridor where Sirius and Regulus are sitting.

“But c’mon,” Potter says.  “You _have_ to admit.  I _am_ sexy enough for you.”

“Shut up, Potter,” Evans says coldly.  She is walking several steps ahead of Potter, with Lupin by her side.  “Why do you have to follow me everywhere?  Can’t you go and harass someone else?”

“Not until you admit that you’re in love with me, sweetheart,” Potter says with a grin, which is instantly replaced with a look of terror.  “ _AHHHH_!” he yells.

“What’s wrong?” Lupin asks, as Potter jumps up and down looking as though he’s in a lot of pain.  Evans is grinning.

“I think,” Potter says, wincing.  “I have a pole stuck up my _arse_.”

Regulus hears the beginnings of Sirius nearly bursting out laughing and hurries to cover his mouth.

“Umm, I don’t see a pole anywhere,” Lupin says, looking close to laughter.  Evans burts out laughing, clutching her sides.

“Dearest Lily.  Would you please get this pole out of my very sexy butt?” Potter asks.

“There’s no pole there,” Evans says, wiping away her tears of laughter.  “And I’ll only reverse the spell if you promise to leave me alone.”

“I can’t promise tha- _AHHH_! Fine!” Potter replies.  “I promise.”

“Good,” Evans says, flicking her wand and lifting the spell.  “Remus, I think we should just head back now.  Nobody seems to be out of bed.”

“Yeah, okay,” Lupin replies, and the three of them disappear out of sight.  Sirius and Regulus let themselves breathe a sigh of relief for a second and then pull the cloak off.

“I need to get back,” Sirius mumbles, standing up.  “They’ll be wondering where I am.”

“But-“ Regulus protests.

“-Really, Reg.  You should get back to your common room too.”

“I was having fun,” Regulus mutters, thinking back to what they were just doing. He looks up at Sirius who grins.

“Me too,” Sirius replies, leaning down and kissing Regulus on the forehead.  And then he pulls the cloak over himself and Regulus can no longer see him.

Regulus sighs.  He still has a boner and the thought that Sirius had just been kissing him turns him on even more.  He decided it’s time to go back to his dorm, so that he can sort his erection out.  The idea of masturbating to the thought of Sirius is oddly exciting to him, but also very very wrong.  It still won’t stop him from doing so.

When he reaches his bed, he mutters to his dorm mates that he’s going straight to sleep and they all wish him a good night.  He slips into bed and draws the curtains, putting his hand down his trousers and grabbing his cock.

He can feel it getting even harder in his hand and he moans to himself, closing his eyes.  He imagines his hand is Sirius’s hand rubbing and stroking up and down his shaft, and he imagines it’s Sirius’s fingers rubbing the tip. 

He goes faster and faster, thoughts of Sirius naked and Sirius in the shower dripping with water playing continuously in his mind.  The thoughts are bringing him closer to the edge, and he can feel that he is about to come.

“Sirius,” he moans as hot white cum spills over his hand and he throws his head back, panting.  He lies there for a minute with his cock still in his hand.  His forehead is sweaty and his heart is beating fast.  He eventually picks up his wand from next to him and utters a cleaning spell.

It takes him a while to get to sleep, but when he does, it’s to dreams of his brother.


End file.
